Number Eight Privet Drive [Harry Potter]

Title: Number Eight Privet Drive

Fandom: Harry Potter

Summary: Dudley Dusley and Jenny Davies-Dursley are taking their daughter to the Hogwarts Express when they run into the Harry Potter. Set in 2019.

Characters/Pairings: Dudley Dursley, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley-Potter, Hermione Granger-Weasley, Teddy Lupin, James Sirius Potter, Al Potter, Lily Potter, OCs

Rating: G

Genre: gen, comedy, fic

Word Count: 1828

Number Eight Privet Drive

Harry Potter. Dudley Dursley had hoped of all hopes that he wouldn't see Harry Potter today. They had parted on better terms than one might have expected, but that was fifteen years ago. Christmas cards had stopped between them about ten or so years ago (not ten or so-- nearly twelve. The year Dudley had married Jenny, rather than explain why an owl had come with a letter, he'd intercepted the bird and burned the card before she could be any the wiser. He hadn't been ashamed so much as... afraid. He'd never had so much to lose before.) And here, on the day he and Jenny had come to take their daughter, Kaitlin, to the train station for her trip to boarding school, there was Harry Potter.

It got worse, you see, because Kaitlin wasn't going to Heathfield St. Mary's as Jenny had done, but rather had gotten the exclusive and much-sought-after (according to Jenny) invitation to the school Jenny's brother, Roger, had attended. Since then, Dudley had heard only "Roger this" and "Roger that." But that wasn't all. You see, Jenny's brother Roger had attended the very same school that Dudley's mum's sister had done, the school Harry had gone to, and interspersed with "Roger this" and "Roger that" were things like, "Did you know Roger was at Hogwarts with Harry Potter? Oh, you probably don't know who Harry Potter is. He's a famous war hero."

Over dinner one Sunday, the topic of Jenny's chattering had turned to war-hero-Harry-Potter. Dudley and his mum exchanged a troubled glance while his dad grew steadily more scarlet.

Today, they were pushing a cart that bore a trunk, a cat in its box, and a small pewter cauldron. A brass telescope rolled lazily around the lip of the cauldron as they pushed the cart towards the wall.

"Mum?" Kaitlin drew her brows down with concern. "Where's the platform?"

"Oh, uh. It should be..." Jenny looked confused. Bugger it, she didn't know how to get there either. Dudley wasn't sure, but he recalled it had something to do with entering the wall. He wasn't about to say so, though. He was just reminding himself how firmly decided he was that he wasn't going to say so when a tall, blue-haired boy shoved at Kaitlin's shoulder and she yelped.

"Wotcher. Need help there?"

"We're fine, thank you," Jenny answered brusquely, pulling Kaitlin out of the way.

"Ooooh, Teddy, are you harassing the muggles again?" A voice called from behind them.

"I wasn't harassing anyone," he called backwards, then turned to Jenny. "Sorry, I was just trying to be a help. Did you need to get...?" He shrugged a shoulder at the wall before them.

Just then a red-headed, freckled girl spun into view and attached herself to the blue-haired boy's waist. "Teddy, how come you can't come?"

"Lilypoo, I've graduated." He tried to detach her.

"Lily, come here," a woman called.

"Ginny, Al and I are going to the loo right quick," a man called.

"Can't you, ah, alright, just-- Lily! Harry, Lily's coming with you."

"What, into the men's loo?"

The woman didn't answer him. Dudley, at this point, was trying very hard not to draw attention to himself.

"Harry! Harry, we were wondering when you'd show!" a red-haired man went bounding past Dudley towards the loo, but then stopped quite suddenly and spun around. Dudley immediately recognized one of the fleet of red-headed boys who'd come to his house once when he was young and swollen up his tongue after blowing up the fireplace. He didn't know which, but the breed was easy to identify.

"You're-- Harry! Harry, isn't this your cousin?" The red-haired man stuck out an arm and finger and pointed rather rudely right at Dudley.

Harry spun around. "Wha? Dudley?"

That's when Jenny seemed to click into action, though Dudley didn't care nor even want to know how Jenny recognized Harry. "Harry Potter? Is that the Harry Potter?"

"What's that? Dudley..." Harry was walking swiftly towards him now. "What, uh.. oh, wait, this is... Ginny, come here and meet my cousin! Al!" A small crowd began to gather around them. "Dudley, uh, this is my wife Ginny, this here is Teddy, my god-son, and Lily, James over there, and here's Al. It's Lily's first year at school. And, maybe you remember Ron? From that time he, well, his dad, really, blew up the living room fireplace. And, uh... I'm trying to think, did you ever meet Teddy's dad? Here, once, for about five minutes? Oh, and Ginny's Ron's sister." Harry stopped to take a breath. "And you are?" Harry motioned towards Jenny.

"Jenny's my wife, and this is our daughter Kaitlin," Dudley managed through a phlegmatic throat.

"Oh. Alright. Um, sorry I haven't, you know. Written or anything."

"S' alright," Dudley shrugged. "We were never best mates or anything."

"Ha, no. Well, um, what brings you in today? Looks like you're sending Kaitlin off to-- oh. Oh, well--"

"Yeah, we're..." Dudley nodded towards the wall.

"Um... I'm sorry, I guess? I know you probably didn't want that sort of thing."

Jenny, whose mouth was hanging open, chose this time to stutter, "Y-y-y-ou're Harry Potter."

"Um. Yeah."

Dudley cleared his throat, but Jenny forged ahead, "My brother went to school with you! Roger Davies? He was--"

"Davies," Ron cried out. "Merlin, Harry, Davies was the bloke who took Fleur to the Ball fourth year. Ravenclaw Quidditch player, wasn't he?"

"Ron," Harry's wife bit out, "How do you know who Fleur took to--"

"'Cause it wasn't him, of course," another woman joined the party, rolling her eyes and shepherding two cart-laden children.

"Dudley," Harry waved to the woman, "I don't think you ever met Hermione--"

"Wait, Dudley?" The woman-- Hermione's-- eyes grew wide. "Ron, you said--"

"Well he was quite a pig, you know. Fred and George tested these--" Ron snorted with laughter but was unable to finish his sentence as Hermione kicked him. He did, however, manage to squeeze in, "And Hagrid gave him a tail, 's right?"

"Ron, really!" Hermione was turning red.

Harry was trying not to laugh, but managed to answer through the laugh that it was "extenuating circumstances" and he was sure Hagrid was very sorry and would be very happy to meet Kaitlin.

"Wait, who gave Dudley a tail?" Jenny asked, her eyes dancing.

"Hagrid is the groundskeeper at Hogwarts," Teddy broke into the conversation. He winked down at Kaitlin. "You let him know who your dad is and he'll probably spend your entire time in school trying to make it up to you." Dudley felt his face turn red.

"Is everyone going to make fun of me?" Kaitlin asked Teddy. She seemed quite suddenly taken by him, probably because he was the only adult speaking exclusively to her.

"No, no," Teddy grinned, "Just do like I did and tell everyone that if they mess with you, Harry Potter is going to come after them."

Harry scratched his head and blushed a bit. "Don't tell them all that, Ted. She's muggle-born. She doesn't even know about the war."

"Well, she'll learn pretty quickly then." Teddy knelt down in front of Kaitlin and said in earnest. "You'll understand when you get there. You tell them that Harry Potter will protect you, and no one will bug you at all."

The oldest of Harry's boys stepped up and grabbed Kaitlin by the shoulders, causing Jenny to start forward in surprise. But all the boy did was hug Kaitlin to his side as he announced proudly, "She's my cousin, too. Bet you'll be in Gryffindor. Potters are always in Gryffindor."

"She's from the Evanseses, you prat," Harry's daughter-- Lily-- exclaimed.

"Evanseses are also always in Gryffindor," James shot back. "Don't worry." James snatched Kaitlin's cart and turned suddenly towards the barrier onto the platform. "We'll take care of you, and Lily's going to be in your year! Come on then." He turned the cart and moved towards the wall. As Kaitlin followed, so did the adults and the rest of the kids, loo forgotten, oblivious to the stares they started to receive as they neared the barrier.

Dudley, though, could not miss the many wide-eyed glances they got on the other side of the platform. People were out-and-out gaping at the group of them, and Kaitlin closed the distance with her mother very quickly.

"Why is everyone staring?" Dudley whispered to Harry. He would have preferred ordinarily not to speak to Harry at all because it was just so awkward, but speaking to Harry was better than speaking to anyone likely to blow up his fireplace. Dudley at least used to know Harry.

Harry's youngest boy overheard, though, and exclaimed, "Uncle Ron's a very big deal!" For that, Hermione smacked Ron on the back of the head affectionately.

Harry, meanwhile, simply ducked his face down towards his collar and shrugged. Surprisingly, it was Jenny who answered.

"He's Harry Potter," Jenny whispered.

"Yeah, I know, thanks," Dudley whispered back. "I was raised with him, I think I know his name."

"Why didn't you ever tell me--"

"I didn't think you'd understand all this..." Dudley motioned to the walls of the Platform, the shining red train waiting to whisk his daughter away.

"You know, Dudders," Harry turned to him suddenly, and Dudley felt himself wince at the nickname, "I think we really ought to hang out more. Everyone here treats me like some kind of royalty. It's kind of refreshing being around someone who thinks 'What's special about Harry Potter aside from the fact that he set a boa constrictor on me in a zoo once?'"

"You didn't really--"

"He's a Parselmouth," Jenny hissed with excitement.

"Well, I did, but I didn't mean to. We were just having a conversation. I never meant for it to attack. Sorry about that." Harry had the decency to look sheepish.

"Oh. Alright, then," Dudley shrugged again, not sure about the proper way to act when your cousin apologized to accidentally almost killing you by having a misunderstanding with a boa constrictor.

"Mister Potter. Sir," Jenny started, and both Dudley and Harry rolled their eyes, saw each other do it, and then laughed. "Are you busy after this? We'd love to have you for lunch at our house. We have people over every Sunday. Bring your friends and all!"

Dudley made a choking sound then cleared his throat.

"What people?" Harry asked shrewdly.

"Dudley's parents, plus mine, and today my brother is coming."

"Did you hear that Ron? Want to lunch with my aunt and uncle and Roger Davies?" Harry called out to Ron a few feet away.

Hermione made a deeply disapproving noise even as Ron answered, "Wouldn't dream of missing it, mate."

"I think I'd like that," Harry smiled.

"Great," Jenny answered.

"Right," Harry nodded. "What's the address then?"

"Number eight Privet Drive."